Архив форума "Клуб любителей DVD" с 2000 по 2014гг


rotfl ;) (-)

Автор: Steed
<steed@whoever.com>

Дата: 06.02.03, @15:12

  ' > ANSWERING MACHINE AT MENTAL HOSPITAL:
' >
' > Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
' >
' > If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
' >
' > If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
' >
' > If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
' >
' > If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
' > the line so we can trace your call.
' >
' > If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
' > the mother ship.
' >
' > If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
' tell
' > you which number to press.
' >
' > If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
' > press, no one will answer.
' >
' > If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
' >
' > If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key
' until
' > a representative comes on the line.
' >
' > If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone,
' > and mother's maiden name.
' >
' > If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
' > c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
' >
' > If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep
' > or before the beep or during the beep. Please wait for the beep.
' >
' > If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
' > memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If
' > you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
' >
' > If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too
' > busy to talk to you.
' >
' > If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You
' > won't be crazy forever.
' >
' > If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

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