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If Men wrote Cosmopolitan...
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my
sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you,
so
he goes for the next best thing: your sister. Far from being an issue,
this
will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins
involved?
If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy
him
a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention
this
aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a
spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a
great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to
you to
perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely
painful
for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him,
buy
him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged.
The
man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far
from
being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and
to
get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how
emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best
thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice
meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it
do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to
videotape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets. To
ease
your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him
a
delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not
love
your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the
mood.
Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice
expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating
feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to
him
and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don't
forget to cook him a delicious meal.
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes
to
love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not confused
emotionally as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date ?
A: YES. Before, if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex ?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to
remember is
that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes,
however,
he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to
you.
Do them anyway.
Q: How long should the sex act last ?
A: There is no average time, but anything over two minutes is good.
Anything
under that and you may be rushing your man. After your man has finished
making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, and go
out
with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as
going
out with his friends to the pub for the purpose of consuming large
amounts
of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his mates. Don't
feel
left out-while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing his laundry,
cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an
expensive
gift. He'll come back when he's ready.
Q: What is "afterplay?"
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly
energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to
do
after the lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a
sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to
sleep
while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.
Q: Does the size of the penis matter ?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is
important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male
penis measures about 3 inches. Anything longer than that is extremely
rare
and, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over,
you
should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do
everything
possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his
apartment
and buying him an expensive gift.
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ОФФ: Если б гл. редактором Космополитена был мужчина....:))))) Сорри тока для владеющих английским.... -- Beaverage -- 25.05.01@11:49 (Чит.: 470)